7: postcards received (bringing my collection to 50)
5: boys slept with (summer of slut success!)
3: times that was with the 90’s pop star (i.e. too many)
2: boys made out with but not slept with (keeping it in my pants success!)
—-: gallons of alcohol consumed (let’s not think about it. love, xtina’s liver)
3: airport floors slept on (i fucking hate air travel)
2: hipsters at the ellensburg rodeo (commence xtina & emily boner for cowboys)
1: taxidermied bulls sat upon (YEE HAW)
6: teen lit novels read (who needs a life?)
185: dollars spent at the puyallup fair on corn dogs, rides, and airbrushed trucker hats (HIPSTER LLAMA!)
1: drunken marriage proposals in slurred british accent (goddamn you, john hughes)
694: times i’ve thought, hmm maybe i could study abroad next quarter (GODDAMN YOU JOHN HUGHES)
0: oral sex received in the bushes (sadly)