December 2011
1 post
November 2011
1 post
first world problems
making yourself feel better for doing nothing but homework for four days straight by saying, “at least i’m not out spending money!” only works until you realize you’re spending $32,000 a year on college.
October 2011
4 posts
12:35am
anxiety takes many forms. sometimes you lay in bed, cold sweats abound, fearing that the walls are actually closing in on you, for reals this time. sometimes you stand at your kitchen counter with your back to the ever growing stack of dirty dishes and drink half a bottle of maker’s mark, shot-for-shot.
and then sometimes you obsessively clean your bathroom at half past midnight and think...
“i read in my textbook, ‘Advanced Psychology For Really Fucking Smart...”
– saturday night homework sessions with sarah and xtina
OH MY GOD FINALLY
on october 5th, 2011, at 9:48pm, after four hours of homework and most of a bottle of red wine, i had this moment:
seven months, a few mistaken sexual trysts, countless times running from the room every time that damn song came on, and more drunk dials than i’d like to admit, i can finally say: I AM FREE.
have fun on sittin on that flagpole, dude, because PEACE I’M OUT.
EDIT:...
September 2011
2 posts
summer in numbers
7: postcards received (bringing my collection to 50) 5: boys slept with (summer of slut success!) 3: times that was with the 90’s pop star (i.e. too many) 2: boys made out with but not slept with (keeping it in my pants success!) —-: gallons of alcohol consumed (let’s not think about it. love, xtina’s liver) 3: airport floors slept on (i fucking hate air travel) 2: hipsters...
the week john hughes directed my life
last sunday, september 11 (never forget!), was the day that my real life was temporarily suspended and was replaced by something akin to an 80’s movie. sex, romance, confusion, it’s all there, although the soundtrack exists only my head.
at the end of my shift that day, i struck up a conversation with two dudes sitting at the bar. one of them is loud and kinda douchy. the other is...
August 2011
1 post
postcards from dave
x,
the corn is already taller than me. it’s awhile since i’ve eaten from the cob — forgot how it polka dots the stool.
if you were here, i’d get in my pig suit and you’d dress-up like farmer bob. i’d thrash around the yard of wet mud and you’d have to tackle me and hold me down as i slithered underneath yr clutch.
i miss you.
xo,
d
June 2011
2 posts
dear Boy I Will Never See Again,
i met you at al’s tonight. we had a short interaction in which we joked about trying to figure out where we’d seen each other before. as we talked you kind of stood closer than necessary to me and through the collar of your shirt i could see a tattoo on your collarbone. i got a rush of blood to my face, among other areas. you shook my hand and left the bar and, presumably, my life....
the last two months.
i’ve learned love is like brick
you can build a house or sink a dead body
yep. pretty much.
May 2011
2 posts
mondays.
last night i kissed a perfectly nice man with a perfectly nice demeanor with a perfectly nice sense of humor who perfectly likes me.
today i got a text message teeming with what is at this point an all-too-familiar distance and non-commitment and my face got hotter and my heart beat faster than when i was kissing the other guy.
after he left last night i fell asleep on bday’s couch,...
tee fucking hee
besides realizing that, despite my efforts in changing the physicality of the men i date (tall skinny hipster to short squat hipster to gargantuan chubby hipster, peppered with army dude and a one night stand with the hottest guy ever) it has has become sadly apparent that my type is inevitably 1. self-centered, 2. pompous, 3. a musician or dumb.
number three is like an equation in my logic...
April 2011
4 posts
afternoon math review
xtina okay. math question. if productivity can be divided into quadrants and at the ballard library i have a ratio of 2/1 of slacking off versus actual homework, how much would that ratio be affected if it’s 3:30 in the afternoon and i change location approximately 3 blocks to the people’s pub? bday: i was never good at word problems but I’m going to say your productivity will go...
HAPPY FRIDAY!!
remember when you were a kid and you thought growing up meant the big kid rides and knowing everything, and then it turns out its just bad dates and folding socks?
yeah, it’s like that
creative black hole
it should be clear by the lack of actual blogging on this blog that i have not been writing, at least not anything for myself. i feel a staggering lack of creativity and have for months. it’s a lack of creativity not fueled by a shortage of ideas - my friends all know the varying ideas and projects i always talk about and never embark on - but a shortage of motivation, which in turn is fed...
February 2011
2 posts
afternoon chat
xtina: i need to get laid, dude. i’m cleaning my apartment obsessively and spraypainting shit gold. bday: got a little pent-up energy? xtina: thanksgiving. that’s the last time. and it was with my ex-boyfriend. i know you went like a year but i’m casually slutty so it evens out. kind of like dog years versus people years.
sardonic (sar·don·i·c) adjective:
1. disdainfully or skeptically humorous
2.
January 2011
7 posts
timeline of a first date
2:45pm: four greaser tattooed boys are sat at table six. one of them is especially greaser-y, with super slicked back hair and a skull tattoos. he orders a maker’s on the rocks and wears his sunglasses for the first half of the meal.
3pm: dude: “what’s that tattoo on your back?” xtina: “a peacock.” dude: “it’s really sexy.” xtina: “uh...
the last five hours
8:30pm - 12:15am: yet another fabulously successful date night (three weeks in a row! we rule!), where emily and i not only feasted on burritos but discovered our our new favorite movie.
12:15am - 12:30am: waited for the #30 while reading thirst, my new fabulously crappy vampire novel. sample lines: “the moment is pregnant with mystery.” “the arm of my influence is as long as...
god 110 with brandon day
xtina: so i’m reading the bible. bday: i THOUGHT armageddon just started. xtina: dude the bible is bullshit. genesis 3:1? no wonder so many christians are fuckin misogynists. bday: it’s true, the old testament is completely nuts. xtina: interesting that childbirth supposedly is painful because eve ate the apple. that’s funny, because i thought childbirth was painful because...
god 101 with sarah smalley
xtina: i don’t understand what the holy spirit is. sarah: it’s like that little voice inside your head that tells you what’s right and wrong. xtina: so when i think, “i should totally hit it with this dude, it’s the right thing,” that’s the holy spirit? sarah: no, it’s the part that says, (slurring) “if i weren’t drunk i totally...
things i think about while sitting in the SU...
A. today i got mixed up and subsequently lost while walking from the bartell’s on broadway to SU. they are two blocks apart. if i had a band i’d call it “christina and the no sense of directions.”
B. people (i.e. myself) have condemned capitol hill residents as “greasy hipsters who need to wash their hair,” but today i realized something: i spent a half hour...
inspired by emily: 11 things to do in 2011
1. get my teeth fixed
2. get my finances in order
2a. budget my money, i.e. not spend $50 a night at mecca
3. fill up my new gold notebook
4. quit smoking
5. write in my blog at least twice a week
6. go on a date with someone who is older than 21 years old
6a. stop “going green” when it comes to sex (aka stop having sex with my ex-boyfriends)
7. get a t-rex...
December 2010
2 posts
who needs order and tidiness when you have vodka?
i think it should be written somewhere that the first rule of organizing is: don’t do it unless yr prepared to find remnants. specifically remnants of past relationships.
found items:
• lease agreement from the apartment kyle and i shared, with his stupid gay handwriting all over it
• two pictures of chris as a child
• one picture of chris looking like a special ed student, from...
are you there god? it's me, christina. i don't...
you know, i’m just your typical twenty-something seattleite. any skinny hipster with commitment issues will do. really. ANY. I’M NOT THAT PICKY.
commitment issues i’m used to. it’s fairly simple: blah blah you’re hung up on this that or the other thing and also your mother never breast fed you. i totes get it, dude.
but no no, that’s not enough anymore. because this, my friends, is...
November 2010
1 post
adventures in higher education
things i’ve learned during my first quarter at a legitimate jesuit university:
i am the oldest sophomore at seattle university, possibly ever
two different people inquired about my age, and, when i replied that i was 27, both exclaimed, “wow! you look so young!” um. that’s because i AM YOUNG, you teenage FUCKHEADS. seriously. the kid that sits next to me in math was...
September 2010
2 posts
yeesh
i made out with a boy tonight. his beard was scratchy and as much as i could tell he was into me i still found myself staring off into space over his shoulder.
also, i found a pair of underwear on my kitchen counter that i don’t remember leaving there.
p.s. i start classes at a legitimate jesuit university on thursday.
moral of the story: WHAT AS TWO THUMBS AND LIKES TO LIVE LIFE...
who's ready for college??????
FACT: you’re not officially a student until you have an ID with a really terrible picture on it.
in other news, i went to “transfer orientation” today, realized it was going to be four hours of various school higher-ups talking about academic transitions & seattle university’s “rich jesuit tradition,” and bailed before it even started. i can’t...
August 2010
5 posts
moving along...
sitting on a pile of boxes, on the eve eve eve of yet another move, i thought i’d take this time to procrastinate on packing and ruminate on the many apartment in which i’ve taken residence in over the course of my eight years in this gray, damp shithole.
1002 W Nickerson St
this is the place with the most memories, fittingly, as it was my first apartment in seattle. i had no...
what i've done while my laptop was getting...
Not Watching Lost: this is pretty self explanatory.
Sleeping: lacking any sort of facebook stalkery/let’s look at this blog real quick okay this is interesting what’s this oh let’s click on link after link until it goes from reading about LL cool J to the politics of north kivu
Showering: this is kind of a big deal. sometimes its TWICE A DAY. granted i don’t wash my...
friday
things that happened today:
1. after writing previous blog o’ brilliance about the perils of eating cereal, actually got out of bed at 8am and cleaned my apartment. i would attest this to my new found sense of productivity but mostly it’s due to the fact that i finished lost. side note: i started rewatching lost last night. it’s very much like fucking your ex: sort of...
deep thoughts in the morning
the problem with frosted mini wheats is that if you don’t eat them fast enough the frosting dissolves into the milk and then yr just eating mini wheats, and really what the fuck is the point of that.
today is going to be a glorious day of productivity, as is evidenced by me sitting in bed blogging about cereal. carpe diem!
you asked for it
i called my mother tonight. calling mom is fun because no matter how pathetic you feel or how calling your any one of your friends feels like defeat, it’s like hey this is yr fault cos you like, created me, so you have to listen, suck it!
tonight my mother and i talked about tv shows we liked. at some point it occurred to me that she thought i was drunk. this was fitting, as i was drunk. i...
July 2010
2 posts
to sum up a dry summer
xtina: there’s always something wrong with [boys]. like, you’re friends with my ex. emily: or your penis is two inches long. or you ARE my ex.
summer in numbers
57: hours spent watching lost 365: dollars spent on root job and hair extensions, including tip 2: hours spent in actual sunlight at magnussen park 124325435: hours spent at people’s pub avoiding aforementioned sun and its cruel cruel heat 3: viewings of eclipse in theaters 1: emergency room visits 10: assortment of prescription meds, herbs and homeopathic taken nightly to get to sleep 1:...
June 2010
4 posts
reasons why facebook is fucking stupid
I. duh
II. ex-boyfriend stalking potential
III. i had a fabulous day.
a. woke up
b. had breakfast with sarah
c. took a lovely walk to lovely downtown seattle
d. went to the salon where i not only got my roots done but also got fabulous extensions put in that make my hair long and glorious
e. had another lovely walk home
f. ate some cereal and watched...
bee positive!
5:58am: vera, like an asshole, swats at my face, demanding food despite the fact that there is food in her bowl
5:59am: i violently shove my sweet baby precious ASSHOLE cat off of the bed
6:04am: swatting resumes. at this point i realize that my alarm hasn’t actually gone off so it’s probably good thing my ASSHOLE cat has woken me up
6:05am: i take the time to reset my alarm for...
wednesday
i like to sit on the bench outside of my apartment building. i resent my apartment for a multitude of reasons, namely size and view of a shitty brick wall, but i do very much like this bench. it sits on a slope of lower queen anne and has a killer view of the space needle, the latter amenity being the point. i like to sit out here and look at the space needle and either allow myself be filled,...
solstice 2010
i think i can mark the passage of time by the summer solstice. this sounds more romantic than it is; really it’s because every year summer solstice means working the most grueling day of the year and the terror of it is so imprinted into my brain that i use it as a place marker for time, like 9-11 or the kennedy assassinations: where were you when it happened?
where was i a year ago?...
January 2010
3 posts
it’s a weird thing, feeling used in the name of over-buttered bagel sandwiches. feeling that there is no safe zone. feeling that you’re supposed to be better than this but aren’t.
i will strengthen myself, build my muscles, learn how to hit things. i will go to college and be smarter. i will be continue the path that i have been on for eight months and soon i will be better...
letters
dear you,
as much as you’d like to think that the universe somehow exists around you, that you are like the sun to which the planets gravitate and i am merely pluto, once revered and glorious but now just a broke ass former planet, as much as you’d like to think all that, i request that you pull your abnormally large head out of your ass. i thought that maybe it’s been seven...
“In my own worst seasons I’ve come back from the colorless world of despair by forcing myself to look hard, for a long time at a single glorious thing: a flame of red geranium outside my bedroom window. And then another: my daughter in a yellow dress. And another: the perfect outline of a full, dark sphere behind the crescent moon. Until I learned to be in love with my life again....
December 2009
1 post
return to emo
now seems like a good a time as any.
it’s interesting that 2009 is starting and ending with a breakup, both my idea and both left me reeling with the overdramatic existential crisis of whether or not i am capable of being happy in a relationship, wondering if i’m just fundamentally wrong. i’ve spent the whole year questioning my organic-ness.
cue the drama: all pathetic...
October 2009
2 posts
this is what christina failing out of college...
exactly like this.
fuck you introduction to logic. fuck you so hard.
excerpts
on the train to portland. this picture depicts actual movement of the train, something that did not happen for the first two hours i was sitting on it. yay amtrak.
trains don’t have wifi. what the fuck? had to entertain myself with the sunbeams and isight
sitting at grendel’s on burnside trying, and subsequently failing, to understand the difference between valid arguments and...
September 2009
4 posts
nintendo!
my new favorite website, the daily what has bestowed upon me two magical youtube videos parodying the best part of my childhood: nintendo games. i am so happy.
party. woot.
it’s saturday night, i’m in the prime of my life, and i’m sitting alone in bed with a glass of bourbon, watching high school musical.
and after the day i’ve had, i’m totally okay with it.